YESTERDAY
1.30 pm: Leap 6 is really messing with the baby’s nap schedule. I can’t get anything done with these 20 minute naps.
2.23 pm: What isn’t he napping? Why won’t he stop crying? How do other mothers deal with this? Two hours till daddy comes home…
3.11 pm: Why, oh why won’t he stop clinging to my legs? How do I fix myself lunch with him surgically attached to me before I pass out?
3.34 pm: Right, it’s off to nursery for him. He and I both need a break.
4.02 pm: There’s nothing noble about being a stay-at-home mom. In fact it’s an absolutely ridiculous thing to do. I’ll lose my mind this way.
5.05 pm: Exactly an hour to go. I can make it. I will make it.
5.55 pm: I’m officially done. As soon as daddy walks into the door, I’m handing him over and shutting myself in a room. Not even coming near this screaming child for the rest of the day.
6.10 pm: Daddy is two minutes late already. How dare he be late? Does he not realize I’m completely losing my mind by the end of each day? Is his shuttle stuck in traffic or something? Or is he walking slower than usual? Argh.
6.13 pm: Oh right, he’s late because he had to take the cycle this morning. But still…
6.16 pm: He’s at the door! About time.
5 seconds later: Walk out of the room silently as daddy walks in. Close the living room door and try to ignore the baby’s wails.
6.25 pm: We are discussing nursery today. The baby probably gets really bored seeing just me all day long. Nursery will be good for him. He’s so active and wants to play all the time, and there really isn’t much to entertain him at home anyway. Plus he loves being around other people so it makes perfect sense. And with a few hours break everyday, I’ll be a much saner mother as well. Win – win.
6.54: Daddy doesn’t seem too thrilled about my sudden suggestion. But he could see that I am completely at my wit’s end so he is going to speak to the on-site nursery at his workplace about getting on the waiting list. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find a place for a few days a week earlier than six months.
7.25 pm: WOW! Silence is just so blissful. Daddy took the baby out for a walk so that I could get a break and get myself together. Washing the dishes in absolute silence – what a luxury. Part-time daycare really is the best decision. I’ll get some time off during the day and can focus on applications and other stuff and in the meanwhile it will be a good transition for him and me before I eventually get back to work. All of us will be much saner.
TODAY
11.34 am: Now that we have decided to start him off at the nursery, I’m actually not even frazzled anymore. Plus the baby is being an angel today.
12.30 pm: Remind daddy to check with the nursery.
1.01 pm: But what if we get a spot at the nursery sooner than expected? What if a space opens up next month instead of six months later? We’ll really have to send him then and I know that’s what I want to do, but do I really want to?
1.22 pm: Am I really sure about this? Oh shut up, of course I am. We have thought it all through and we are putting in the application this week and we’ll worry about the rest when we actually get a spot.
2.54 pm: He’s really being lovely today. This nursery thing isn’t going to be so easy.
3:36 pm: Daddy has forwarded me the fee structure and other introductory documents for the nursery. Oh wow, this is getting real.
3.44 pm: Okay so the nursery isn’t as subsidized as I had thought. I mean it is, but do we really have to do this? I can just take care of him myself, it’s actually quite fun. Just a few overly cranky days here and there but he’s mostly so entertaining and cute otherwise. I’ll miss him so much when he’s at nursery…
4.02 pm: Oh look, he actually seems to be watching TV. Let me quickly put on CBeebies and see if he watches that.
4.16 pm: He’s been watching TV for over 10 minutes now. Finally, after months of trying to get him to take some interest in the TV for more than three seconds. I’ll get some free time to get chores done everyday now.
4.17 pm: Oh no, my baby is growing up! My tiny baby who would only be entertained by me likes the TV now. Before I know it, it will be really hard to tear him away from it. He’s growing up too fast! Nooooo, I really can’t send him to nursery. I can’t bear to send him away so soon, this is all too much too fast for me.
6.18 pm: Daddy and I talked over it and the nursery thing doesn’t make sense for us right now. We’ll think about it in a few months again. Maybe.
